In my desire to avoid my own death but to engage in the deaths of others, I'm doing my best to only fight in those battles where I am more likely to win. It's this reason that is encouraging me to join up with those other pilots who, in their nefarious ways, are going to help me find victory.
This is why I came back to Molden Heath! The violence, the adrenaline, the excitement of laying in wait for prey, and then striking hard, and winning! The few victories I've had in my short career only make me crave more of them.
Today, I joined with Temar, Jardin and Rebnok, skilled pilots who have been quite happy to help me learn their ways. I joined them in Atlar, and in our short time flying together we managed to kill ourselves a Drake. Among other kills as well, but I was unfortunate in that I had no sensor booster, and therefore by the time my target lock engaged, they were already dead.
I'm feeling less and less sorry for these people who I end up destroying... Instead of feeling sad for their losses, I'm starting to understand I'm here to help them grow as pilots. They will either find courage as they become warriors, or they will find wisdom and stay out of lowsec space. Or they will realise they're actually little girls and retire from being a pilot altogether.
Either way, it's my duty to help them realise their true calling, whatever it might be.
My short term goal is to match my losses with victories, and then to double the number of victories over losses. When I reach my goal I will have a party! Everyone will be invited - even those I have slain in battle. There is no shame in defeat, and those who join with me in battle, whether as friend or foe, are all brothers in arms. They will be welcome at my party.
Exciting times lie ahead, my friends. Exciting times.