So I was sitting on the toilet seat, minding my own business, when suddenly everything around me started shaking. Have you ever tried to 'do your business' when your ship comes under attack? Maybe you have, I dunno, but it was a first for me.
Here I am, parked in a safe spot - obviously not any more - while dealing with nature, and some nasty pirate comes knocking in the worst way possible. Yes, I was caught with my pants down...
The pod refused to close when I managed to stagger back to it, and it was a few seconds before I realised it was because of the toilet paper trailing from the back of my pants. Not a good look.
I noticed that the armour on my beloved Celestis was around 30%, and I could see I was enveloped by the energy field from the pirate's Vexor that meant I wasn't going anywhere. There were drones buzzing around, chewing away at my ship, and as I got a lock on the pirate I activated my sensor dampeners. It was too late to matter with his drones though, so while I released my own drones to engage the enemy, I tried using the rocket launchers against the drones.
Unfortunately, being caught with your pants down, as I was, usually means you're screwed. And I was indeed screwed. By the time I took out one of his drones, my Celestis disappeared around me in the explosion that I have now become used to.
With my ears ringing, I quickly activated the warp drive on the pod and went to another safe spot, before making my way to the gate to return to HQ and get another ship.
I activated the Thorax and went back to find this pirate. I wasn't sure how successful I would be, but I at least wanted to engage him with my pants tightly fastened, and no toilet paper draped from the pod. At least that was burnt off when the Celestis exploded...
He was still there in Illamur when I returned, and after some coaxing, agreed to another fight. He thought I was going to ambush him with another alliance member, but finally decided to trust me.
This time it was his Vexor vs my Thorax.
I got his armour to about 60% before my pod was again ejected from the Thorax exploding around me.
Dejected, I warped away.
I've run out of money, and have no cruisers left. I have a Tristan frigate sitting around gathering dust, which I'm now going to have to fly around for a while. Until I gather some more money again, I'm going to have to become a mission whore.
Oh, the pain....